just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
