Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
