I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
