my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
now i know why i became what i already was.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
