These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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