I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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