wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
