She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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