I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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