I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
