WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
