Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
