So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
