AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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