im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
