what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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