C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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