I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
