That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
