Me too!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
