worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
