My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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