Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
