so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let's get the cat blown out
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
