that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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