The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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