I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
