She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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