If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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