definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
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When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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