CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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