he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
