Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
vagina is talking i cant
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
