...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
