yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i think i have two assholes
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
