Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize