used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
