Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
