I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
