that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
