I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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