I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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