he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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