I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
