i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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