We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
