don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
