I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
