I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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