I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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