I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
