Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
