Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
