just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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